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Thread: Why I left!

  1. #1
    Founder/Owner 1yesfan's Avatar
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    Why I left!

    I got this PM recently from someone that has been here for some time that is now calling it a day. Sad thing is that many of the folks this person is speaking about know who they are and what they are doing. They are not dumb but very precise in their posting habits. They are here solely to stir the ---- and just be rude fans of this band, no matter which one or both we others now support.
    I will say it again, don't post about the YES you don't like, just DON'T post. Allow the others on this site enjoy the bands and YOU stay the hell out of the threads you just visit to piss people off, push your agenda, what ever the hell you are doing.
    Time for some folks to grow up. REMEMBER a ban from this site can be with out notice and or explanation. Go to FB and play your games there....................


    "The past couple of years, especially since Chris Squires' death, the core participants have turned very sour and aggressive. The loudest are also the most abusive and oddly invoke the very ignorance they accuse others of displaying.

    It appears the place has been hijacked by this crowd. Almost the alt-right version of Yes fandom.

    I can't imagine enjoying this anymore and have decided to delete my account and try to allow myself the luxury of enjoying what I enjoy without the vitriol and vivid stupidity.

    You have done a great job here and there remain multiple terrific participants but the "Tribe" has opted to vandalize every single thread, every section with their idiocy and I can't expect it to stop."


    "YES" - Music that could make God cry with joy. Either you get it or you don't.





  2. #2
    SR Mega Yesfan Mr. Holland's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    I understand some of it. But I rather stay for the good people here than leave for the bad.
    ReAwaken (after the Bethlehem Sands concert 2016):
    Sometimes in music, the songs can transcend the band members themselves - I think Yes is such a band.

  3. #3
    Polishing the mirror Enlighten's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Holland View Post
    I understand some of it. But I rather stay for the good people here than leave for the bad.
    Ditto, we can choose to respond or not to others, then there is that ignore feature.

  4. #4
    Founder/Owner 1yesfan's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    a lot of folks have left here because the bad people are just too much at times. I think some folks are able to deal with that better then others. I have always said that when this place becomes to much just step away for a bit, take a break, leave for days, weeks however long it takes. The "bad" people will still be here but you will be rested to deal with them or just ignore them.
    "YES" - Music that could make God cry with joy. Either you get it or you don't.

  5. #5
    Insane Yesfan dallasman's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    The crazy thing is, I can imagine two quite distinct types of poster that this might be referring to - I think we all can - but I have absolutely no idea which it is. I can easily imagine one of the very people this person was thinking of, posting in this very thread to say "Yeah, it's really gone downhill with the abusive, repetitive posting". For all I know, this could be a reasonable-sounding missive from a total maniac, that would single me out as the worst of them all. I surely hope not, as I'm all for free expression and respectful discourse co-existing, and I've seen it happen in real life.

  6. #6
    Polishing the mirror Enlighten's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by 1yesfan View Post
    a lot of folks have left here because the bad people are just too much at times. I think some folks are able to deal with that better then others. I have always said that when this place becomes to much just step away for a bit, take a break, leave for days, weeks however long it takes. The "bad" people will still be here but you will be rested to deal with them or just ignore them.
    That's good advice.

    I have to say too that if someone is having that strong a reaction, it can't just be about what goes on here. They have to be having deeper issues in their own life. I mean c'mon, this is a forum for a band, it's not a nuclear waste site outside one's home.

    I know we're not perfect and yes, it has been a bit more testy lately but that testy factor seems to peak and valley. There are some great folks here and just a few who get there kicks from goading others into a battle of wills. That battle of wills never amounts to a hill of beans btw, mostly the expression of hot air that accomplishes nothing.

  7. #7
    Sept 8 2016 R.I.P Dex rePete's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    It's understandable. Lately, every last thread related to the band gets hijacked into a childish b!tchslap between factions - usually by the same very small number of people, having the same useless argument over and over, and presented in the most disrespectful way possible. The majority of folks that ARE interested in the band and this site, but don't want to get sucked into that nonsense simply participate less and less.

    Disagreement is normal, and can even be interesting and enjoyable (if yer a grownup). But this has become more about who can insult and discredit people they disagree with the most.
    Last edited by rePete; 08-07-2017 at 05:51 PM.
    -Pete




  8. #8
    Administrator soulsearcher's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    I agree.
    With what is going on with Yes..Both Yeses lol.. I woukd think that anyone who has a level of maturity would expect widely varying opinions, personal expressions which differs from your own and definitely expect some of the members to say things that will piss you off.
    I challenge anyone to tell me that NOBODY pisses you off in your every day life, whether personally, on fb, at work.. but somehow, through maturity, we deal with it and live on.
    Here on Yesfans, it would be nice if we were all going to a 1977 Yes concert at RFK in a fleet of Escalade limousines, but alas, not gonna happen.
    You can block people whose comments you do not like and it wouldn't really compromise your understanding of the thread as a whole considering you hate those comments and disagree anyway. But people dont do that for some reason. They would rather have us..ie:the mods. change that person's personality but we can't really do that.
    In life, we talk to those with whom we find stimulating conversation and even respectul disagreement. We don't talk much to those people that we think are annoying, but in families, sometimes they are alwsys there .. (like your sister's husband who constantly talks about how nobody should own dogs because they are dirty..) but we least to tune them out and continue on not expecting our sister to divorce him or change him. But guess what, at thanksgiving, he is gong to be there with his innane commentary. We use our maturity to engage where we want and tune out which we do not want.
    It could help people to try that here.
    Last edited by soulsearcher; 08-08-2017 at 01:35 PM.
    with love and wonder, denise

    "We receive all we venture to give..."

  9. #9
    Founder/Owner 1yesfan's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    The issue with all social media I think is that the pain in the ass folks can just hide behind the keyboard and run on at the mouth and not have to look at someone in the face and say the stuff they say. If it were a face to face conversation they would prob be a bit better at being more cool about things instead of being a coward and hide behind a keyboard to just stir the crap and not follow any rule of saneness.
    "YES" - Music that could make God cry with joy. Either you get it or you don't.

  10. #10
    That can is empty. Discount Ministry's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Did you delete their membership?

    I told Karen that I wasn't going to try and convince her one way or another. It's up to her. That's one example.

    Where in the world will you find a place exactly as you want it with no hassles?

    Not even in your mind.

    And I'm just giving an example. It kinda hurts to see her go but you have to do that when you really do like them.

    You can't really hide from the bad by not going to a website or not watching TV. It's not necessarily politics either. You get rid of that, it goes somewhere else around here...Yesfans are not bland or without an opinion.

    Some will stop participating, and more will pass away. There are no options.

    Nothing is misguided to it's creators, only the recipients who didn't want the expectation ruined for them.

  11. #11
    Administrator soulsearcher's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by 1yesfan View Post
    The issue with all social media I think is that the pain in the ass folks can just hide behind the keyboard and run on at the mouth and not have to look at someone in the face and say the stuff they say. If it were a face to face conversation they would prob be a bit better at being more cool about things instead of being a coward and hide behind a keyboard to just stir the crap and not follow any rule of saneness.
    I think you have a point there..on fb that works..
    I think it seems different here because of the closeness we perceive between us here and also our feelings about the band members..
    It hurts more when we hear things we dont want to
    with love and wonder, denise

    "We receive all we venture to give..."

  12. #12
    That can is empty. Discount Ministry's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    And you know them as well as I might. I'm not going to mention any more names, it has happened and eventually will happen again.

    It's your site. I enjoy it.

    Nothing is misguided to it's creators, only the recipients who didn't want the expectation ruined for them.

  13. #13
    Administrator soulsearcher's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by Discount Ministry View Post
    Did you delete their membership?

    I told Karen that I wasn't going to try and convince her one way or another. It's up to her. That's one example.

    Where in the world will you find a place exactly as you want it with no hassles?

    Not even in your mind.

    And I'm just giving an example. It kinda hurts to see her go but you have to do that when you really do like them.

    You can't really hide from the bad by not going to a website or not watching TV. It's not necessarily politics either. You get rid of that, it goes somewhere else around here...Yesfans are not bland or without an opinion.

    Some will stop participating, and more will pass away. There are no options.
    There are no places with no hassles.
    Well said.
    with love and wonder, denise

    "We receive all we venture to give..."

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    That can is empty. Discount Ministry's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    PS I only go to FB to see if the site is down but I have other ways. Not having this site up is nervewracking.

    Nothing is misguided to it's creators, only the recipients who didn't want the expectation ruined for them.

  15. #15
    Administrator soulsearcher's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by Discount Ministry View Post
    PS I only go to FB to see if the site is down but I have other ways. Not having this site up is nervewracking.
    I do hope we will always be here♡
    with love and wonder, denise

    "We receive all we venture to give..."

  16. #16
    Founder/Owner 1yesfan's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by soulsearcher View Post
    I think you have a point there..on fb that works..
    I think it seems different here because of the closeness we perceive between us here and also our feelings about the band members..
    It hurts more when we hear things we dont want to
    I think some still hide behind the keyboard here and just go off and on and on because they really can't get in any trouble really unless we ban them which I have always (99%) of time really gave a long lead time before I have had enough and with other staff input we just ban them.
    "YES" - Music that could make God cry with joy. Either you get it or you don't.

  17. #17
    onward... somissound's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Alt Right Yesfandom? Wow... Tolerance??

    The ignore button is there for the very reason of if you can't handle or don't like someone's online persona or opinions, poof they are gone, and your online utopia, or should I say Yesworld, is at peace again. I've never used the ignore button, but been close a few times. I enjoy hearing other people who have different opinions than I do, as long as they state it in a decent way, and explain what they mean. Heck, a lot of times it has had me go back and listen to something with a different viewpoint or consider a completely different opinion... Everybody has their good and bad days, but I'd say there is a great community here with a good sense of humor. With the occasional penalty box moments. But a great community and made some great friends!

  18. #18
    Administrator soulsearcher's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Quote Originally Posted by somissound View Post
    alt right yesfandom? Wow... Tolerance??

    The ignore button is there for the very reason of if you can't handle or don't like someone's online persona or opinions, poof they are gone, and your online utopia, or should i say yesworld, is at peace again. I've never used the ignore button, but been close a few times. I enjoy hearing other people who have different opinions than i do, as long as they state it in a decent way, and explain what they mean. Heck, a lot of times it has had me go back and listen to something with a different viewpoint or consider a completely different opinion... Everybody has their good and bad days, but i'd say there is a great community here with a good sense of humor. With the occasional penalty box moments. But a great community and made some great friends!

    yes
    with love and wonder, denise

    "We receive all we venture to give..."

  19. #19
    That can is empty. Discount Ministry's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    Where is this suspected ignore button that I ignore because I don't need a button for that...and it doesn't protect you from anything?

    Nothing is misguided to it's creators, only the recipients who didn't want the expectation ruined for them.

  20. #20
    SR Super Yesfan downbyariver's Avatar
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    Re: Why I left!

    I think people disagreeing and having controversial opinions is just part of what goes on with message forums.

    It's especially likely to happen when you have the Yes members of the past themselves divided up into two different bands and one is calling the other a tribute band and completely rejecting their legitimacy. All you have to do is look at how the old band members were reacting to each other at the Hall of Fame to know that there is real tension and disagreement there.

    In a way that's sad, but it is what it is.

    One can expect to see it reflected in the fan community. And of course the fan community is less likely to pull punches because they aren't public figures who need to sell tickets.

    I understand people's pain. And I get it. The can't we all just get along stuff is actually a compelling thing.

    I have to say, though, is that what annoys me most as a generality is the comments that complain about the complaining and the conflict, and calling for bans. That makes everything worse. Just let everyone say their piece. Maybe that'll even lead to peace and understanding in the end and people will agree to disagree.

    I think moderators have a tough job. I hope if they wade into this and start banning people (Which I'd prefer they didn't) again, though, that they look at both sides of it.

    Tim, I know you are a big Jon Anderson fan and it probably gets under your skin when Yes fans seem to be trolling ARW. However, I'd appeal to your sense of fairness here. The pro-ARW folks have been much worse than the pro-Yes Official folks in the last 6-12 months. If you feel like you have to crackdown, look at what the situation really is. A lot more anti-Yes Official stuff gets by than anti-ARW stuff if you look at the really hardcore comments (Not counting milder stuff). If we're just going to let almost everything stand, then the posting ratio is what it is, but if there is a crackdown, I hope it's a fair one and not just purging of pro-Yes Official folks. I'd rather there be no purge at all, but if the decision has been made that it's going to happen...

    I would just rather we looked on the bright side, which is that people are passionate enough about Yes music after all these years to want to have these arguments. Non-violent disagreement is not always the worst thing in the world.

    Also, I think it would be nice if bannings and suspensions, if they have to take place, were more public. Like, if someone I know can't post because he or she is banned, that would be nice to know versus just thinking that they'd dropped off the face of the earth. There is talk about individual accountability for community members, but, and I am not singling out this place for this, because it happens on 90% of the Internet forums out there, owners and moderators usually don't announce bans and suspensions and thus aren't allowing themselves to be held accountable to the community. I know I was banned for a long time a few years ago, and people were wondering where I went and just thought I'd taken a break or passed away or something.
    "A lot of the heavier conversations I was having with Chris toward the end were about his desire for this thing to go forward. He kept reiterating that to me. He kept telling me, ‘No matter what happens, Yes needs to continue moving forward and make great music. So promise me that that’s something you want to do.’ And I have to keep making music. It’s just what I do. I’m a fan of the band and I want to see it thrive and that means new music." -Billy Sherwood (Quote edited to fit under character limit for sig files)

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