Illusions Inventions For Auction

[illusion]

The first item we have for auction today is a Fashion Stapler (TM)! The Fashion Stapler (TM) is like a regular stapler, except it doesn't work! However, this makes it a perfect fashion accessory, which will complete your desktop stationary collection and impress your boss. Who knows, the Fashion Stapler (TM) could be your key to getting that pay rise!*

Bids start at £10 ($15).

The second item for auction is the Misprinted Bible! It's like a reguar Bible, except it has more spelling mistakes than any other Bible ever printed, giving a unique new interpretation of Gods Word (TM) before He managed to get His A-level in English Language. A whole new generation of Crustians will be inspired by this long-overdue item.**

Bids start at £20 ($30).

The last item is a Manipulative Diary! A regular diary, except all the dates and days do not match. Give a copy to your boss, and watch her squirm when she books an important meeting on the 30th of February, or stays at home because she thinks that it's Saturday when it's really Monday. Designed to get you Number One fired so you can take their job and re-hire them on ten grand less than they were on originally.***

Bids start at £50 ($80).

* This item does not exist.
** Nor does this one.
*** And this ones a load of bollocks too.

Seriously Tim, GREAT FORUM! Yesfans is getting better all the time!



Beer for the leader!

[1yesfan]

YESFANS.COM for sale. $50k or best offer! Ha ha ha ha ha ha. SIKE!

[Dances w/PURPLE]

Oh illusion you are funny. You had me going there with the Bible. I'm thinking "wow, really had a misprinted one, aye?".

[Koko]

Originally posted by illusion

The second item for auction is the Misprinted Bible! It's like a reguar Bible, except it has more spelling mistakes than any other Bible ever printed, giving a unique new interpretation of Gods Word (TM) before He managed to get His A-level in English Language. A whole new generation of Crustians will be inspired by this long-overdue item.**

Bids start at £20 ($30).


Okay illusion....I'll swap you (Hey! No-one said anything about not being able to "Barter" ) my mispleled copy of the Catucisum...be the proud owner of this uninsightful tomb...sorry I mean tome....No No I tell a lie I say tome ...but this Rc version spells it tomb......failing a straight(ish!) ..well you know these priests & vicars swap....It's yours free all you gotta do is send a
crisp $100 bill to me this will cover P&P & insurance....hey there's no greater insurance that good ole green backs!
so roll up roll up...come on folksies..get yer bargain ere!

in the likelihood of being dissatisfied with this genuine unique
item please contact :

Del Trotter
@ Trooters Trading Emporium
Peckham
London S5
ask for Rodders or Uncle.

.................................................. .....................................

The last item is a Manipulative Diary! A regular diary, except all the dates and days do not match. Give a copy to your boss, and watch her squirm when she books an important meeting on the 30th of February, or stays at home because she thinks that it's Saturday when it's really Monday. Designed to get you Number One fired so you can take their job and re-hire them on ten grand less than they were on originally.***

Bids start at £50 ($80).

* This item does not exist.
** Nor does this one.
*** And this ones a load of bollocks too.

It does now I just wrote one out in 'joined up' writing




Seriously Tim, GREAT FORUM! Yesfans is getting better all the time!



Beer for the leader!

Nice One illusion





Koko.

[Koko]

"FOR SALE"

One unique item that goes by the name of

"illusion"

A bit of a tricky bugger, and is always guaranteed to rock the boat, start an argument and/or rub you up the wrong - now now!...keep it clean!!! "ooooooh! Missus!
when they made this unique product they broke the mould...or is that mold ...anyways I digress...actually I don't but that's neither here OR there...the important thing IS...this Lovely Young Argumentative Person can be yours for absolutrly nothing....ALL you have to do...is feed and clothe him for the next 5 years...provide him with adequate monetary funds to attend all the up & coming Yes Gigs for their 35th Anniverssary tour "Worldwide"....Oh1 yes.....and pay the fines and doctors fees & HUGE Bar Bills!...

All offers on the back of a Kellogs Cereal Box with a 1st class stamp to:

Right Awkward Bugger Ltd
somewhere in Right Greedly Land
near Eckie Thump!
out ont amoores
somewhere near a Pub.



.................................................. .........................................

"ONLY JOKING"....


Koko.

[Koko]

Originally posted by illusion

The second item for auction is the Misprinted Bible! It's like a reguar Bible, except it has more spelling mistakes than any other Bible ever printed, giving a unique new interpretation of Gods Word (TM) before He managed to get His A-level in English Language. A whole new generation of Crustians will be inspired by this long-overdue item.**

Bids start at £20 ($30).


OOOOOOPSSS! Sorry illusion....I've just remembered....My Uncle Stan wrote this....after a night on the "pop!"....
I think you'll find page number 666 missing...dunno why?...but there ya go!...
Uncle stan saya he's 'Feverishly' working on parts 2 & 3 as we speak...and will post them to you poste haste as it were.....
he promises more scandal...more splelign mishtakes (hic!) and a whole new Play Station 2 game to go at the end....

just thought you'd like to know....by the way uncle Stan says the Walking on the water bit was all down to too much lager & curry (if you know what I mean .....and as for wrecking the temple...well...that was when Arsenal beat Spurs...(not such an unusua occurrenence I know...but apparently.....he also won a free bottle of jack D in the raffle at the working mens club....)




Kokol

pp: Uncle (Hic!) Stan

The last item is a Manipulative Diary! A regular diary, except all the dates and days do not match. Give a copy to your boss, and watch her squirm when she books an important meeting on the 30th of February, or stays at home because she thinks that it's Saturday when it's really Monday. Designed to get you Number One fired so you can take their job and re-hire them on ten grand less than they were on originally.***

Bids start at £50 ($80).

* This item does not exist.
** Nor does this one.
*** And this ones a load of bollocks too.

Seriously Tim, GREAT FORUM! Yesfans is getting better all the time!



Beer for the leader!

[illusion]

Hey! I don't start arguments I just make them a whole lot worse.

[tardistraveler]

Funny stuff, Illusion! I'd love to see what the fundamentalists would make of your misspelled Bible!

[Koko]

Originally posted by tardistraveler
Funny stuff, Illusion! I'd love to see what the fundamentalists would make of your misspelled Bible!

Hey! Tardistraveler don't you mean "funkamentalists"

[Koko]

Originally posted by illusion


Hey! I don't start arguments I just make them a whole lot worse.

Do you mean worse or "Better"...

Oh! no you don't

Oh! Yes I Do!!!!

This isn't an argument it's just contradiction !!!

Oh! No it isn't....






Burt seriously folksies an peeeps!....


"FOR SALE"


One (Hardly) Used 'Idea'

It is totally unique and it is totally original
not thought of previously OR Before for that matter
Just send me for cheque/check for $50,000.
And this 'Idea' can be yours...only One Previous Owner...Yep! Yours Truly...why wait ???
grab this offer of a LifeTime...!!!!

First Come First Screwed ..oooops! I mean Served

Koko.

[Earl Grey]

I've invented a machine that teleports items of little worth.

I've been using it to steal the left socks from your clothes dryer over the last 40-some years...
And I will sell them back to you for a price yet to be determined...

See? There WAS a use for that useless 'useless-item teleporter' I invented.

[Koko]

Originally posted by Earl Grey
I've invented a machine that teleports items of little worth.

I've been using it to steal the left socks from your clothes dryer over the last 40-some years...
And I will sell them back to you for a price yet to be determined...

Naah! don't bother Earl amte...I've just posted my 487 'odd' socks to you....they'll need a wash...but other than being a tad "wiffy" LOL!....you'll be able to make use of them.

for:

Covering golf club heads

keeping small household cacti warm in the winter months

sewing 2 ickle buttons on them to make 'fictional' characters so you can have endless "In Depth" conversations with yourself in the garden...aaaand worrry the hell outta the neighbours

carrying your marbels around in


pouring custard into and bashing on the work surfaces in the kitchen to see if it really makes a Good Squishy Sound !

OR

rolling up into balls and throwing at the light/ tv/stereo on/off switch to save you geeting out of that Comfy Chair!


:0)

Koko.