My prog mentor is gone

[heartofthesunrise]

My dear aunt Mary Ann, who was responsible for introducing me to prog, and who was closer to me than my own mother for a portion of my life, took her own life Wednesday night. She had been dealing with severe depression for nigh on 11 years, and the past few months have been very difficult for her and my mother, with whom she lived with. Many trips to the hospital to diagnose ailments that were never there, a pharmacy of medications that never worked, and the inability to express everything that was going on to anyone finally took its toll. Suicide is not something I am accustomed to; this is my first experience. Sadly, it was something my family feared. My mother prolonged necessary hip replacement surgery because she couldn't leave my aunt alone. But even being in the next room couldn't prevent this.

She took me to all the first concerts: Supertramp in 79, Genesis in 81, Yes in 85, Rush in 86, the list goes on. She introduced me to sci-fi, conventions, malls, cross country trips. I was going to NJ tomorrow night and had planned to take her out to lunch and get a handle on what she was going through. I think what most family members of suicides deal with, and what I'm having a hard time with, is recalling the last time you spoke to them, the last time you said I love you, and the pain of not being able to have them in your life. A heart attack, which my dad suffered last year, is quick; depression is watching someone die a little each day, knowing that one day there won't be anything left. There are no words to express how much I will miss her.

[Albedo]

I'm so sorry; my heart goes out to you and your family.

[luvyesmusic]

Yvette,
you are in my thoughts, and in fact I'd been thinking about you the last few days for some reason. I'm very sorry to read about your Aunt and your friend. Precious are the memories we make with family members we love. All we can do is to think about those special people who have passed and to make sure we tell the ones who may be next, if not ourselves ( live each day with a smile and warmth in your heart) that we love them. Keep her memories with you and share like you have here, the good times of experiencing the shows with her and create some special memories with those younger than you so that they to, can keep you alive one day with a smile on their faces. :-)

Depression sucks; no way around that. I hope to see a beautiful woman,inside and out, at ROSfest next year as I missed seeing you at Marge's this past summer.

[HoweGuitargod]

Very sorry to hear that---A female family member of mine suffers from depression and I know how it can affect a family. The frustration of wanting to make it all right. Hope time will heal you.

[Bluetailfly]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Life can be so strange and difficult. It is wonderful that you had so many cool experiences with her when you were younger, part of her lives on in you. You might write about some of the experiences you had and concerts you attended with her. And suicide is not something anybody should be accustomed to. I hope you and your mother can find comfort in each other and your shared memories.

[DREAMER]

Very sad to read this, so sorry for your loss.

[Jonah]

So sorry to hear this Yvette. Suicide is the most difficult to deal with. I wish you and your family strength through this difficult time.

[JaneEyre]

Terrible news, Yvette. I am so sorry.

[Soleil3]

That's so sad.
Sorry, girl.

[SunshipVoyager]

Deepest condolences.

Depression can be a real hard road.

[cinderella]

Yvette, I'm so sorry.
Bless your mother for taking care of her.
Unfortunately, sometimes there's nothing we can do.

My heart goes out to you and your family at this very sad time.

She sounds like she was a wonderful person and a good aunt to you.
Cling to all those precious memories of her.

~ RIP Mary Ann ~

[Mostly Harmless]

Yvette, I am so sorry for your loss.

[tardistraveler]

I am so, so sorry, Yvette . . .

Depression is the absolute worst - I have suffered from it in the past and have been close with many others who deal with it too. I've dealt with suicide threats/attempts before, but fortunately none have succeeded. It's such a terrible, helpless feeling knowing that someone you love is hurting and you don't know how to help.

Big hugs . . .

[pianozach]

Ah, hell . . .

Sorry to hear this . . . positive vibes to you . . .

[RelayerI]

She sounded awesome. Depression is awful, and I am really sorry this happened.

Probably a bit too soon, but you should take some comfort in that she had such a positive effect on your life...

[Sheerah]

Oh Sweetie, I'm so, so sorry to read this.
Aunt Mary sounds like she was the best aunt ever!
I'm sure you were the best neice ever. Please don't second guess yourself.
You know, real love between two people doesn't need to be reinforced with words. It's always there and right within reach.

Having experienced the pain of depression myself and just wanting the pain to end, I can tell you with absolute certainty that Aunt Mary is definitely in a better place now.

All my love to you and your family.

[SouthSideGuy]

Lighting a candle for you and your fam, dear one. =(

[kirk]

Aww Yvette, that's terrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. If I or any of your extended family here can do anything, let us know.


Hugs,

K

[Internaut]

Thank you for sharing these memories... She was one awesome woman...

[Bugeyes]

I'm sorry too, Yvette. I wish that both you & Mary Ann can find peace with her solution.