Squireaholic
12-07-2002, 09:01 AM
I wanted to share something that happened recently, in the hopes that you, my fellow Yesfans and musicians, will learn from my experience.
I was contacted the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving by the lead guitarist in the 'Deadhead/jam' band I’ve been playing bass in for the past three years. He told me the band was breaking up; the New Year’s eve gig we had planned had been given to another band for half the price; another gig had been cancelled; etc. etc. I said sorry to hear that, too bad, figures in this economy, let’s get together some other time, yada yada yada.
I bet you can guess what happened next
Two days later, I get a call back from this guy. He starts talking about whay I shouldn’t be in the band anymore, how I’m not playing exactly like Phil Lesh, on and on. I didn’t address the fact that he already had called and told me the band was breaking up (obviously a lie, since he was now calling back and complaining about my playing!). I asked him if he remembered his call to me the day before yesterday. Dead silence. So, I let him off the ‘hook’ he had created; I told him that, despite the fact I had founded the band with him, I didn’t feel I was the right guy to play bass anymore. Done. Turns out the sax player in the band told the guitarist he would quit unless I was called and told the truth: the band is still going, although most (though not all) of the dates had been cancelled, including NYE. I wasn't told the truth, but hey, I can do the math!
Monday at work, I did a little exercise that helped me cope with the feelings of frustration that I understandably had. I wrote a list of all the things about the lead guitarist that had been bothering me. I couldn’t believe how long the list was! Once I reviewed it and the list was complete, I read it through one more time, took a deeeeeep breath, and erased the list. Gone!
Happy ending: I’ve had two gigs with my jazz standards combo (one for the outgoing Gov. and Governor-Elect of Maine!), and I’m trying out for another rock band tomorrow.
Comments on my handling of the situation (come on, tell me how good I am!)? Has something similar happened to you? How did you deal?
I was contacted the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving by the lead guitarist in the 'Deadhead/jam' band I’ve been playing bass in for the past three years. He told me the band was breaking up; the New Year’s eve gig we had planned had been given to another band for half the price; another gig had been cancelled; etc. etc. I said sorry to hear that, too bad, figures in this economy, let’s get together some other time, yada yada yada.
I bet you can guess what happened next
Two days later, I get a call back from this guy. He starts talking about whay I shouldn’t be in the band anymore, how I’m not playing exactly like Phil Lesh, on and on. I didn’t address the fact that he already had called and told me the band was breaking up (obviously a lie, since he was now calling back and complaining about my playing!). I asked him if he remembered his call to me the day before yesterday. Dead silence. So, I let him off the ‘hook’ he had created; I told him that, despite the fact I had founded the band with him, I didn’t feel I was the right guy to play bass anymore. Done. Turns out the sax player in the band told the guitarist he would quit unless I was called and told the truth: the band is still going, although most (though not all) of the dates had been cancelled, including NYE. I wasn't told the truth, but hey, I can do the math!
Monday at work, I did a little exercise that helped me cope with the feelings of frustration that I understandably had. I wrote a list of all the things about the lead guitarist that had been bothering me. I couldn’t believe how long the list was! Once I reviewed it and the list was complete, I read it through one more time, took a deeeeeep breath, and erased the list. Gone!
Happy ending: I’ve had two gigs with my jazz standards combo (one for the outgoing Gov. and Governor-Elect of Maine!), and I’m trying out for another rock band tomorrow.
Comments on my handling of the situation (come on, tell me how good I am!)? Has something similar happened to you? How did you deal?