View Full Version : Humor: The YES Soap Opera
This was an idea I came up with several years ago, so bear with me!!
Premiering on the Fox Network:
Beverly Hills 90125!!
This soap opera chronicles the exploits of the legendary rock band YES!
In the pilot episode, Jon (Jon Anderson) can't decide which band he wants to be in this week - Yes West (Trevor Rabin, Chris Squire, Alan White, Tony Kaye) or Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe. What will the singer decide??
Special Guest Star: Billy Sherwood as "The Sideman". :headset:
Bugeyes
05-03-2005, 10:02 AM
Jon's looking for fresh vibes. He's starting a new band. Someone that hasn't used Lightning Strikes yet.
yescop
05-03-2005, 10:27 AM
I just saw the previews on Fox. Rick owns the neighborhood bar(like Cheers), Chris is the "Snoopy Landlord". Alan is the "Maintenance Man/Plumber", and Steve is the "Pool Cleaner", you should see him in his Speedo's(maybe not!!).
Well next weeks show is about Jon going to eat Sushi in Little China and meeting up with Kitaro.."Jon,eat your lice". Then we see Jon go to a Greek restaurant and meet up with Vangelis.."Jon,eat your Baklava"..So tune in next week
:badass:
cinderella
05-03-2005, 10:53 AM
Stay tuned next week to see Trevor break out of Cinderella's closet.
(I've moved, he's no longer in the basement.) Watch as he tries to run to the nearest phone, with his ankles still tied together.
yarstruly
05-03-2005, 11:11 AM
Fun Idea....
I had a similar thread a few years back with a different angle...
http://www.yesfans.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5842&referrerid=1718
yarstruly
05-03-2005, 11:18 AM
When Trevor reaches the payphone he has no change, so he is forced to place a collect call to none other than...?
Andersonic
05-03-2005, 01:01 PM
Steve Howe who just finished work cleaning Snoop Dogg's pool. "Hello?" says Steve,
"who is this?"
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 01:16 PM
Waiter: Mr. Anderson you have a phonecall!
Jon: Just a minute Vangelis, thinking thank god i didn't have to eat that baklava
Jon:Hello?Hello?Janie? I love you...
Trev: Robert listen I need your help! I was kidnapped...
Jon: Trev?This is Jon high vibration go on
Trev: Oh sorry I always get you two confused. So Jon listen can you lift me up from this and send the blue sedan after me? I am just at the right of the point of harmonic convergence. I am sure you know where it is... If you help me i might even consider joining the band i wrote some cool songs while i was locked up like "Honey show me the money" and a symphonic work called "Cornerstore Fantasy" i am sure they'll be way better that what you have planned for the band next year...
Jon: Ok but can I ajust the lyrics and the song names to "My love reveal to me the divine currency" and "Fragile structure at the convergence of two starways"?
Trev: Sure Jon whatever I am dying here...I need to use the washroom
Jon: Ok hang in there love and peace and earth mother earth will take good care of you! Give me a ring when you are looking for the sunshine again!!!
jon then started singing
"Am I the boy who's locked away in the darkness or am I Cindy with the key"
this where jon had the inspiration from the song he sang on his tour on the piano
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 03:21 PM
Meanwhile Lord Elpus was swimming in the comunity pool when suddenly his last wife tried running him over wih the car and failed miserably projecting the car into the deep pool. Steve said, to much noise I can't use my hands to cover my ears cuz i want to protect them what do I do what do I do?
Rick didn't even bother jumping down after her and open the car door for her saying he was too afraid that his currie would get wet. hence his famous joke:
"My third wife left me cuz i wouldn't open the car door for her, mind you I had trouble to get to the surface myself!"
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 03:26 PM
It is then when Rick realizes that the 30th aniversary of Arthur should be made under water with soldies riding seahorses. Tune in for the 60th the aniversary when rick will be floading on water clouds the soldiers riding eagles, therefore compleeting the cycle of water
'75 ice
'05 liquid
'35 vapour
Andy56
05-03-2005, 03:41 PM
Meanwhile the police are called the downtown apartment of Chris Squire, his housekeeper reports her employer entering the bathroom two days ago and not coming out since. When police break down the door they discover that Mr Squire still in the bath but he is accompanied by .....
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 03:46 PM
a toy warship, a rubber duck and a toy doll of Ariel the little murmaid
umgekehrt
05-03-2005, 03:58 PM
And this came as a surprise because last season Chris had said that he was leaving Yes forever. When he came out of the shower that was the last scene of the season finale. The audience has to wait until September for an explanation. It turned out that the whole last season was only Alan's dream.
Unfortunately, there is already a spin-off soap opera called "As The ABWH Turns" where Chris is supposed to be out from Yes for good. So the two shows develop their own universes separately from then on!
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 04:58 PM
Season opener:
on the back ground of teakbois we see jon driving the blue sedan along the beach wearing sunglasses when he...
yescop
05-03-2005, 05:15 PM
..and on that beach he collides with a man in a white car.It's none other than Trevor Horn(the more talented of the 2 Trevors) He had just been downing a few pints at Rick's Bar when suddenly...
:badass:
cinderella
05-03-2005, 05:18 PM
It's none other than Trevor Horn(the more talented of the 2 Trevors)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/Cinderella528/N99%20Smileys/begood.gif Go to jail!!
yescop
05-03-2005, 05:21 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1003/Cinderella528/N99%20Smileys/begood.gif Go to jail!!
Only if you join me,Mistress Whip-Me-Good...Bwahahahaha
:badass:
yescop
05-03-2005, 05:28 PM
Back from the S & M commercial with Cinders...we return to our program..Trevor runs from the accident scene and hides out in an old Music Shop. There he see's a familiar face..It's none other than Geoff Downes and also there are Tony Kaye, Pat Moraz and Igor Korashev. He ask's what they were all doing there. Igor, sucking down a few Corona's himself, stated they were recording a new album "Keys with Afflictions" a prequel to "Keys to Ascension". AsTrevor ran from the store screaming he........
:badass:
Back from the S & M commercial with Cinders...we return to our program..Trevor runs from the accident scene and hides out in an old Music Shop. There he see's a familiar face..It's none other than Geoff Downes and also there are Tony Kaye, Pat Moraz and Igor Korashev. He ask's what they were all doing there. Igor, sucking down a few Corona's himself, stated they were recording a new album "Keys with Afflictions" a prequel to "Keys to Ascension". AsTrevor ran from the store screaming he........
:badass:
.....ran for his life! Actually, he ran to Jerry Bruckheimer's house and begged him to let him write the musical score for his next movie blockbuster. Trevor reasons that if he's busy hammering out a musical score, he'll be able to refuse "The Don's" (Jon) request to do anything YES related.
Later that evening, Igor and the YES keysmen show up at Rick's bar for some post-session "refreshment". Rick sets them up with beers and shots. He laughs at how they gulp their drinks with such gusto - it reminds him of his "glory days" before he got on the wagon. "Have one for me boys," Rick cheerfully eggs them on. He goes out back for a moment.
A few seconds later, Jon bursts in. He is frantic. He looks as though he's had a life-changing - or mind altering, take your pick - experience. He shouts at the keyboardists: "Guys! You won't believe what just happened! I--"
(to be continued)
Great stuff, guys! Let's keep this going!
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 07:28 PM
i found a dead seamonkey!
Rick: "Well, that's what you get for spanking it, first, Jon."
Jon: "But now I have no one to do my healing chans with. Audrey was so emotionally distraught after being bood off stage at MSG she left me..."
Steve: "MSG? Nope, never eat that with my bulgar and seven grains..."
Meanwhile, Igor has two lovelies sitting on his lap while he gropes them fondly..
Next thing we know, Peter Banks walks into the bar and screams...
Next thing we know, Peter Banks walks into the bar and screams...
..."You guys didn't let me visit backstage during the Onion tour!!"
Pete breaks into tears, sits himself in a corner of the bar and begins sucking his thumb.
This causes Igor to shout out...
Vic Anderson
05-03-2005, 09:17 PM
Shut the f*** up you mofo i AM better than both rick and patrick i am the russian tzar of keyboards!!!(imitating joey, towards the two girls) How you doin?
By this time, the police have entered the room and were making their way towards Igor, when all of a sudden they heard a large crash in the room next door. They slowly opened the door to find...
yescop
05-04-2005, 07:05 AM
Carl Palmer on the floor with a bloody lip and his body in the fetal position. He was muttering,"Me knows I'm the better drummer, my precious""Give me my Zildian Cymbol that was forged by the fires of the mountain king".Alan kicked him in the groin yelling,"Are you bloody wankers,Bollocks" "I'm going to get in me boat and toss you in the lake by Mulholland Drive".As Alan went outside to gas the boat, Jon, munching a Granola bar ran next door for......
:badass:
Vic Anderson
05-04-2005, 08:44 AM
some magic dust to spread over the crime scene to make everybody realize these things are not important in life what really matters is the relationship of one with the nattural work and with the fairy world :)
capnkrk
05-04-2005, 10:53 AM
"Outta my way gnome!" Igor yells at Jon as he carefully scrapes the fairy dust into lines of indulgence. With one mighty snort Igor inhales the magic powder and is flung headlong into a spiraling vortex where he awakens to see...
Vic Anderson
05-04-2005, 11:39 AM
The spirit of Rasputin singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and what's worse is that Rick is accompanying the great leader on the piano. Igor feels that he looses any bit of sanity he has left and runs to strangle Rick Die you grumpy old man!!!
Bugeyes
05-04-2005, 03:08 PM
Right after Wakeman revives the shocked seamonkey, he spanks Igor and tells him to grow up to be a grumpy old man.
Jon is close to the floor gathering the spent pixie dust.
Chris!
yescop
05-04-2005, 04:29 PM
Is seen in some tight fitting bike shorts, heading down to the beach to meet Lance Armstrong. "Hello,hello, Mr.One Nut","Screw you, Mr.Triple Neck, or is it Triple Chin","See if you can catch up to me BassBoy". Chris pedalled as he might, but could not reach Lance. Spent,sweaty, and reeking of sheep, Chris stopped by a friends house for a quick shower. When he knocked on the door, but who should appear.......
:badass:
Vic Anderson
05-04-2005, 04:49 PM
trevor in a rubbber real size shark costume
Chris freaks out and runs for the nearest public shower
Roan's Lady
05-04-2005, 04:49 PM
Ohhh, I thought you meant the Yesfans soap opera! ;) :winknudge
yesrolfer
05-04-2005, 05:18 PM
Ohhh, I thought you meant the Yesfans soap opera! ;) :winknudge
Starring a cast of many, featuring Cinderella and the 3 blind mice, with Snow White and the many dwarfs! :ha:
Paul D
05-08-2005, 02:41 AM
Would Rick be a recurring character that the writers kill off, but bring back to life, kill off again, bring back to life....?
Would Rick be a recurring character that the writers kill off, but bring back to life, kill off again, bring back to life....?
Nah, Rick would go off on "secret musical missions" and be presumed dead or just dismissed as dead by certain members, but always return to claim his rightful place in YES.
Bugeyes
05-08-2005, 08:19 PM
That's my kind of Rick!
After saving the word for the umpteenth time, everyone now wonders what does Rick really carry around in those shopping bags.
Vic Anderson
05-08-2005, 09:17 PM
After the sucessfull phoneconference the current yes members held last tuesday to decide they will have a phone conferrence next thursday, Jon talks to Chris:
Jon: So I have this idea for a new piece of music about the life of the ghost of the flying elephant Dumbo! The five mamal axioms for surviving in the wilderness of ectoplasmic world in the parallel universe of the enery beings! I want to make the next Tales Chris and even before we'll record it I know the name has to be Views of Strategic Workophobics. What do you say?
Chris: That won't work Jon. Not with an elephant at least ha ha ha
Jon: No Chris But Listen just hear me out
Chris: Hmm unless you replace the elephant with a fish
Jon: yeah ok i'll replace it with a whale the symphonic dives of the whales
Chri: Jon the whale is not a fish
Jon: Isn't it?Hmm that makes more sense do you figure we should make roger draw a whale on the cover insted of genetics accident that would look fishy then
Chris: No it has to be fish! I want fish
Rick drops by: I'm terribly sorry mates but i overheard what you said. Theres something fishy here. Here's my take on the whole fiasco. When i had the accident when i lost my whife to the uncalmly waters cuz i didn't want to open the car door for her having trouble gettin to the surface, i had a revelation. A relevat hstorical figure Posseidon the god of the ocean came to me in a vision saying i should go to cuba and play there. Then a thousand golden fish came by and saved me mind you they smelld awfull on the shore. But i think we should thank God i was saved. Do you wanna use that Jon?
Jon: No.
Rick: Why?
Jon: No.
Rick: Jon jessus knows what you are doing so behave.
Jon: Rick easy on the creativity mate keep living your christian dream I am totally above any religion.I can tell you about Buddha Mohamed Jesus and Krishna in fact i just wrote a song and it has childen's energy (not fish) in it (jon starts singing everybody covering ears)
Chris: oh not again
Rick: Oh not gain
the room: Oh not again
Vic,
I don't know what you were taking, but I want some.
Vic Anderson
05-09-2005, 06:33 PM
Jon says: Chris what do fish say when they hit their head into a wall?
Chris: I don't know. Billy Sherwoord, I used to work with him in conspiracy with the world, has "The Wall" by Pink Floyd rerecorded unnecesarely. Usually when I hit a wall it just breaks silently falling, falling doooown. No I can't say I know... What do they say?
Jon(laughing his heart off): Dam!
Vic Anderson
05-09-2005, 06:35 PM
jon singing in the morning
i see a flower i feel her power
i see a flower i feel her power
cha cha cha charmin
(hope ppl get it :))
Thoughtbecontact
05-10-2005, 09:09 AM
That's my kind of Rick!
After saving the word for the umpteenth time, everyone now wonders what does Rick really carry around in those shopping bags.
Saving the WORD? or the World?
Ah, and if Rick gets killed off and brought back to life every so often, I guess he's the Kenny of the Yes Soap Opera. Hehe!
Bugeyes
05-11-2005, 01:08 PM
They both work TBC, the word and the world, take your pick. Yep, an immortal Kenny!
Charming... :lmao: as Wakeman is, he followed Jon down the road to...
Thoughtbecontact
05-11-2005, 01:45 PM
They both work TBC, the word and the world, take your pick. Yep, an immortal Kenny!
Charming... :lmao: as Wakeman is, he followed Jon down the road to...
Retirement? The nursing home? Or.....maybe YOUR house!
Take your pick :D
Sheerah
05-11-2005, 02:36 PM
Fun Idea....
I had a similar thread a few years back with a different angle...
http://www.yesfans.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5842&referrerid=1718
I just read through that thread, Yars.
What a hoot!
Sheerah
05-11-2005, 02:51 PM
Rick followed Jon to the road towards what appeared to be a phone booth. Rick thought to himself, "They still make phone booths? Who knew?" Rick yells ahead, "Jon, mate, where you off to?" "I must save Trevor from unimaginable doom!" calls out, Jon.
Rick followed Jon to the road towards what appeared to be a phone booth. Rick thought to himself, "They still make phone booths? Who knew?" Rick yells ahead, "Jon, mate, where you off to?" "I must save Trevor from unimaginable doom!" calls out, Jon.
Rick yells back, "Which one??"
Stevehoweworshipu!
05-12-2005, 12:44 AM
Eddie Offord can take the role of the random black guy who magically appears in every episode... "Hey Guys" - Eddie Offord (studio audience cheers) "Edddddddie!" - Steve Howe...
Roger Dean lives the the apartment below. always gets pissed off with the guys playing music upstairs while hes painting...
Stevehoweworshipu!
05-12-2005, 12:48 AM
Then it suddenly turns slapstick, one episode Eddie runs in screaming and shouting saying "Steve, Steve!! come quick! i've aquired a marsterful producing technique" and runs in trips over steve's guitar chord he pulls out, he trips on the table the table falls on the wall the wall knocks the shelf over. all the while steve is sitting at the table eating....Rick walks in "All, right what the the bloody hells going on here"....Both go "awwww eddie"
This just gets weirder by the post. :headset:
Bugeyes
05-12-2005, 11:50 PM
"Eddie, come quick. Jon needs you to save Trevor, again," says Rick.
"Is this another one of your jokes, Rick?" he asks.
sissywoods
05-13-2005, 11:29 AM
And Rick says, "well it could be slightly exagerated to make it more interesting".
Eddie goes to see Jon and Trevor. They are working on the vocals for a song. They are having a hard time trying to find the right key to sing it in. Jon says to Trevor, "pretend the music isn't there and just sing it Trevor". Trevor gives Jon the most bewildered look.
Eddie steps in and says...
yescop
05-14-2005, 11:04 AM
"Shenanigans! I call Shenanigans!" With that Trevor bolts from the room, takes his clothes off, and starts screaming"Cindy,wait for me love" Jon stays there, scratching his head, looking at Eddie and asking,"What was that all about?" Eddie offered an explanation but Jon couldn't quite understand. "It was something I read in the Yesfans web-page" " I had read that 'Shenanigans' was what Cindy would climactically scream at Trevor." "Well I guess it touched a nerve" Eddie snortled "I guess the bugger was homesick,poor sod" With that, Jon's cellphone starts ringing the opening tunes of "Siberian Khatru" "Hello,Hello,Hello" Jon spoke as Eddies eyes lit up. "Its Rick, he's calling me from the phone booth" Rick, in hurried breath tells Jon.......
Vic Anderson
05-17-2005, 10:19 AM
Jon: I feel the earth moving (hits his head on a pole)
Rick: I am a Merlin the pediatician(vanishes to materialize in stone)
Chris: Towers of life and dreams brought down (into the sea killing all the fish)
Steve: Hi mate! where is my mexican hat?(still looking for the mind tooth)
Alan: Am I here?Am I not here? To be or not to be?(thinking regardless I have great snickers prince charles said so himself)
vBulletin® v3.8.4, Copyright ©2000-2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.